Well - Things were good for a while. Like all things, the too-good becomes to the too bad, and its now happening on a regular basis.
I need a new hobby, something independent. I don't do much on my own anymore - I think that is a problem. Even when I play video games it has something to do with helping someone out. I need something that helps me. I need something selfish.
Ive never been one to WANT to care for myself. 9 times out of 10 I will risk something of my own to help that of another. I get shot down a lot for it, with little thanks or no appreciation at all. It is a weird road to travel down, but I do it on a daily basis. I need a detour, I need a fork in the road, I need an alternate route. I want something to change for the better in my life. I want something for myself.
Any suggestions?
On another note - Im tired of being taken granted of. Sure, I want to help you out - but it doesnt mean thats all I live for. Say thanks once in a while. I get on hands and knees to do some of the things I do, and for what? Rude comments? Unfair actions? Its uncalled for and deserves some action taken against it. I don't, because I cant. Its not that I cant do anything about it, its more of a "I can't do anything because I am too nice of a person" I let people walk on me, and its detrimental to my happiness. Sometimes I want to use a baseball bat on a face, and other times a saw to a limb. At the end of the day I don't, because even then I feel like I can help them in someway.
All in all, suck it up Seth.
-LM
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ahh my little brother. I have been where you are. Unfortunately, as with most things, it gets better and easier with time and age. I have always admired Dustin for the quality that I lack which is sometimes he just doesn't care if he's rude or callous because he wears his emotions on his sleeve and stands up for himself and his beliefs. It has also gotten him into trouble from time to time, but I have always appreciated his honesty and he knows this. In that aspect, I say don't be afraid to say no, with this in mind - as long as you are being true to yourself. There is a difference in being belligerent vs. standing up for yourself. When I have seen Dustin do it, he is always very calm and unwavering. I believe you have to be the one to show people you are not a doormat because nobody is going to do it for you.
ReplyDeleteAs for doing something for yourself - I think that is healthy, not selfish. One thing I have just learned myself is doing things for others without being asked and giving up your time freely ironically IS doing something for yourself. It just works out that way, I promise you.
Or you could take up running. Someone mentioned an upcoming marathon... : )
Hang in there and don't worry...it will all work itself out the way it's meant to. It always does.